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 Politics and Cows.

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Emo Lord
Afro Ninja.
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Posts : 30
Join date : 2008-03-17
Age : 31
Location : San Mateo, CA

PostSubject: Politics and Cows.   Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:47 am

Political - government and cows

DEMOCRATIC

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbra Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICANISM
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

TOTALITARIANISM
You have two cows.
The government takes both and shoots you.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow
won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders

Can you think of more? Go make with the funny.
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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:45 pm

Redneck Cow
You have 2 cows
One gets lucky from neighbors bull thus gets special hay
The other gets jealous and gets knocked up by same bull
You find that they're booked to appear on Jerry Springer where they go crazy
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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:37 pm

Emo Lord wrote:

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


I lol'd
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Gharik
The Gallant.
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Age : 31
Location : Cleveland

PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Tue Jun 24, 2008 2:06 pm

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have two cows, and two bulls
Unfortunetly, they will never produce any calves
Fortunetely, the bulls also produce milk
Unfortunetly, it tastes funny
and Jeff is gay
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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Tue Jun 24, 2008 2:33 pm

ouch cheap shot

but gharik you seeing abcese with gay word and people ? are you sure yourself ? maybe you hide some frustation
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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Tue Jun 24, 2008 2:36 pm

You have two cows
One french and One german
Whatever the German cow wants the French Cow gives away
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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:53 pm

MICHIGAN

You have 2 cows
You have to sell both cows because you got laid off.
You can't get a job that pays enough for you to live.
You will never be able to afford cows again.
Fuck Michigan.
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Flannan
The Irish Railroad.
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Age : 30
Location : Corn Fields

PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:50 pm

heh, i remember doing a discussion of sorts on that list in one of my highschool history class's

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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Sat Jun 28, 2008 9:31 pm

VIVA LE REVOLUTION.
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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Sat Jun 28, 2008 11:19 pm

Pfff French are the real revolution master Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Sat Jun 28, 2008 11:41 pm

The French had two Cows
One named Louie one named Marie
The French got tired of feeding these fat cows
The French chopped their heads off
Now the have no cows but still have no backbone
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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:40 am

Quote :
The French had two Cows
One named Louie one named Marie
The French got tired of feeding these fat cows
The French chopped their heads off
Now the smallest of all cow try to seize a world to big for him,Bonapart.

/fix
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Flannan
The Irish Railroad.
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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Sun Jun 29, 2008 7:03 pm

The only good thing that came out of the french revolution was Les Miserable.

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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Tue Jul 01, 2008 7:05 pm

bring it irish soo all your face going to by red now ! Wink
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Flannan
The Irish Railroad.
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Age : 30
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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:41 pm

Ouglouk wrote:
bring it irish soo all your face going to by red now ! Wink
You know, for being Canadian, you sure care a lot about France.

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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Wed Jul 02, 2008 6:29 pm

Quote :
Canadian,

plz dont insult me say im Quebecois.

Quote :
you sure care a lot about France.

sooo what ? for somebody from US you sure care alot about your irish origine
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PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Wed Jul 02, 2008 8:00 pm

Quote :
sooo what ? for somebody from US you sure care alot about your irish origine

Pwnd by the English Language Slayer.
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Flannan
The Irish Railroad.
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Location : Corn Fields

PostSubject: Re: Politics and Cows.   Wed Jul 02, 2008 11:45 pm

Still makes you canadian

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